Posted in Scummo

Scomo Goes to Schroedinger’s Bunker for a Chat

With the failure of his daily debacles of selfish publicity to convince the public, Scomo will address his flagging popularity by piggy-backing on the popularity of the premiers on a twice weekly basis. This was announced with the subterfuge that a war footing is necessary in contradiction the need for such action over the previous year.

This manoeuvre was required when his tactical retreat to Facebook failed. He resorted to Facebook to avoid accountability to questions about his blatant failure to communicate a credible schedule for vaccination. His blatherings on Facebook contradicted his own advice that no-one should use it for government anouncements and highlighted that he is less popular than the disgraced Kelly in promotion of fake news.

So the master of marketing pivoted with the grace of an overstuffed dead feline.

He made another bellicose announcement with the distractions of vaccination hubs he had previously dismissed. This was adorned with allusions of the rapid deployment of a vaccine that is short in supply due to a fault that simultaneously morphed from being the fault of European supply to the shame of our own states to deliver what seemed to not exist.

How this tactic supports his favoured small businesses has yet to play out, but it seems the Chemists may be sacrificed for the uncommon goodness enshrined in Scomo’s massive ego.

Besides it being unclear when there will be sufficient supply to warrant vaccination hubs as an alternative to GPs, there is ongoing need for vaccinations on possibly a yearly basis as the virus evolves and the vaccines lose efficacy over time. Just like the annual flu shot.

Interestingly, a flu shot is not so required this year due to all the covid-induced isolation; so chemists have spare capacity. Chemists are part of Scomo’s favoured smal businesses, and like GPs seem to be a logical choice for this ongoing dispensation role. However; the discussions of the war cabinet will probably remain shrouded in an opaque translucence except where the collaborative members all rush out with more self-aggrandising interpretations of the secret strategies.

In compromise, Scomo has inevitably recognised that he might have a problem with the perception of his bullying nature and acknowledged the differences between the states proclaiming that there is no one size fits all model to his quest to regain popularity. Perhaps he will also consider stopping his ludicrous charade as a tradie and manifest some new found empathy for anyone but white middle-aged male evangelicals.

The problem remains that the opportunity to administer sufficient jabs prior to the winter season has been missed. Indeed it was unclear that the original plan with a deadline of October ever really tried to address that risk. In the name of transparency, Scomo is leading the way with his dead chat in the concealed box.

Whether alive or dead Schroedinger’s Chat the divine right of this supreme being to continue to maintain two seemingly conflicting positions. The super imposition of the views of observers from the outside with different opinions on the chat inside his notional bunker will maintain a certain transparency to conform with any observer’s opinion

Scomo has the ability to maintain a serious face in the face of his parody of competence with a self-congratulatory smirk

  • He can have mass vaccination hubs in June because there will be substantial vaccines in fourth quarter
  • Vaccination is the fault of the states because he hasn’t supplied them sufficient vaccine
  • Vaccination is fault of Europe because he put Australia at the front of the queue
  • The cabinet will meet twice a week to fix problem of him not agreeing to anything
  • The booming economy of Australia is desperate for the skills of migrant labour who have no skills to do the jobs that break minimum employment standards
  • Australia will not be able to have travel bubbles until everyone has been vaccinated because vaccination only stops serious effects not transmission, but he is prioritising talks that blow more bubbles rather than a vaccine rollout
  • Home quarantine will protect Australia from the people who don’t believe Covid exists and break quarantine
  • He can set up ongoing protocols for travelers despite no-one knowing when each different vaccination expires

Scomo’s chat lives in the nation’s collective conscious hiding behind the dead television screens of a disinterested public. A public that has largely succumbed to torpor in the ambiguous state of vaccine hesitancy.   

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