The Minister for Affairs in the Home declared that Australians have the right to freely express his opinions on China. In making his statement, Mr Putrid Mutton emphasised that he was attacking the communist party of China, not the chinese people who freely colonised Tibet.
“I welcome chinese asylum seekers with open arms to our casinos. They have the right to free speech because they arrive by plane and not boat. It is state actors who seek undue influence on my australian values. We should condemn these actors whether they come from from China or Hollywood.
China expressed it’s shock at this “baseless malicious slur which is provoking the chinese people of Australia”. They sought to calm the situation by referring to Mr Mutton as irrational in his attempt to link the cyberattacks and IP theft with the belt road initiative.
“This does not advance your subservience to a bilateral relationship” said spokesperson General Shu Yew.
Josh Fryandburger confirmed that he often silently disagreed with China, “My democratic freedom to condemn foreign governments is different from the authoritarian right of China to criticise me.” he said.
Prime Minister Morrissoon intervened in the situation by downplaying the rights to freedom of expression by servants of his government.
“We maintain an open and frank relationship with China by focusing on areas of clear agreement. I have the right to say what I want and Mr Dutton should refrain from telling me that he agrees.” he announced.
“Mt Mutton’s exercise of his freedom to not speak was a feature of my campaign for election. His silence led to an overwhelming landslide of quiet Australians not expressing any opinion. This shows how the freedom to not speak about (or vote for) policy is conducive to democracy of my reign.” he patiently admonished the enraptured throng of ignorant reporters entrapped in his Canberra bubble.
“I defend the freedom of anyone to have the opinion that I have. Real Australians get it. They do not express the opinion that they have no freedom to criticise China for it’s record on suppressing freedom of speech.” he clarified with a nonchalant jiggle of his hand in his pocket.
The opposition leader in abstinence, Albraneasy, was too preoccupied with policy review to defend the freedom of Australians and exercised his democratic freedom to not oppose any expressions, especially those that might be interpreted as the current Labour policy.
However; a random Labour backbencher said diplomatically “I wish there were more adults saying things for domestic point-scoring, rather than undermining the universal right to not being coerced into exercising your free speech.”